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The Birds (Free verse) by lunar
They wondered what it was about you, that enabled my birds to spread their feathered wings, Away they flew, Away! i say. But then the truth came out, Clawed fingers tore at the flyers, They struggled through the days and nights. But all you did was render their flight, Completely useless. So that all my birds could do was to free-fall, But for them there was no parachute. They fell with ever-increasing velocity and power, Till i could not control them at all, And soon i know they will hit the ground, Hit the ground so hard, Their wings will break, And feathers will become scattered all over the floor.

Up the ladder: Things
Down the ladder: Fingerless Gloves

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.5
Overall Rank: 2688
Posted: January 1, 2003 12:52 PM PST; Last modified: January 1, 2003 12:52 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] rockinindividual @ 68.85.69.50 | 1-Jan-03/1:15 PM | Reply
wow...its good...but its almost too subtle, i can't quite see the story, but i love what i see so far...7
[n/a] lunar @ 195.92.67.71 > rockinindividual | 2-Jan-03/4:13 AM | Reply
The birds are feelings for someone, which are then made pointless.
[n/a] RGallet @ 140.186.47.161 > lunar | 7-Jan-03/5:12 PM | Reply
Don't give up on DA!! His pride and prejudice is not a match for the purest of loves that your hearts clearly possess.
[8] deep-as-a-puddle @ 195.92.194.18 | 1-Jan-03/3:23 PM | Reply
IT DOSENT RHYME, AGHHHHHH! i really didnt like this the first time i read it but when u told me what it was about it all feel into place! its actually really deep! tr??s impressed!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 81.86.113.159 | 1-Jan-03/4:37 PM | Reply
The film is better.
[6] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 1-Jan-03/6:00 PM | Reply
what? no beak bending?
[n/a] lunar @ 195.92.67.71 > horus8 | 2-Jan-03/4:15 AM | Reply
im afraid not...what is this beak bending you speak of? I have not seen the film but i want to-it looks really interesting.
[9] T'ien @ 212.219.142.161 | 8-Jan-03/6:54 AM | Reply
OMG THATS THE BEST THING EVER I DON CARE WOT PPL SAY I LOVE IT
[n/a] lunar @ 195.92.67.68 > T'ien | 8-Jan-03/2:24 PM | Reply
Thank you- if you want i cann write u a poem since i raised your hopes when u thought they were all about you!
Mr Rgallet-wots ur obsession with me and DA?
[8] Dostoyevsky @ 172.181.60.26 | 12-Jan-03/2:29 PM | Reply
very sad, those poor birds! very good poem, although slightly disturbing ill give it a 9, not a 10 as nothing deserves a 10
[n/a] deleted user @ 212.219.142.161 > Dostoyevsky | 13-Jan-03/5:01 AM | Reply
My sentiments exactly
[8] Dostoyevsky @ 172.181.60.26 | 12-Jan-03/2:40 PM | Reply
sorry just read the rest of your poems and i think they are slightly better than this so i will have to reduce my vote to 8
[10] MuDvAyNe @ 213.1.164.105 | 27-Jan-03/10:34 AM | Reply
wonderful, *applauds* wonderful
[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 | 29-Jan-03/4:18 PM | Reply
not your best work but still interesting so i'll give it a 7
177 view(s)




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