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The Red Tree (Free verse) by raysaun The snow
clung to the red tree
with the red berries
in the winter.
As the sun shone
the air warmed
the snow fell
from the tree.
I walked under
the red tree
with the red berries;
snowballs fell on me.
They say the snow
is dry here
and normally
doesn???t stick to trees
but I saw
the snow fall
from the red tree
with the red berries.
Up the ladder:
Sanctification
Down the ladder:
Daywalker
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.4
Posted: July 7, 2002 9:29 AM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2002 9:29 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.2 Overall Rank: 13225 Comments:
[7]
AmericanWigeon @ 24.189.127.227
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7-Jul-02/11:55 AM
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Reply
mysterious and nice.
Imagery good, would have liked a little more depth, a little bit better development of the red symbolism Why are the trees red? What do the berries mean? Why does the word normally seem so out of place?
I dont see snow much thank you
in the last stanza change 'saw' to 'felt'. Also snowballs can only be made my people, not trees. Find some other way to say it.
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