help

i sit here and wait. i am waiting for someone to come along. to realize i am holding out a hand and reaching out for help. i have bad feelings and thoughts, that seems to be taking over my life. some days it gets so bad that i take an object and cut. it feels right at first but i always end up feeling the same. i do not want to be like, i want help. i want help to be happy. to feel good and lead a normal life. am i asking for too much? i hope not. i am scared to come straight out to ask for help. i'm tired of feeling depressed. i'm tired of looking for a wrong way to be free. i dont think i can go on like this much longer so please hurry to realize i want your help. i'm scared to leave this world but if it gets any worse, i fear i will have to leave. i feel so alone and deprived i cant get better by myself, so please help.