Cyanide Summer

My heart is heavy, My soul is weighed down. I feel so disheartened My face forms a frown. I can't get up in the mornings I don't want to step outside. It really rather silly. To drink undiluted cyanide. Damm those Amazon indians, Damm those clever men. That get the cyanide from a plant Which is processed by women. They put in the rivers, The brooks, the tills the streams. It paralyized the fishes It sent them off in dreams. It looked such much fun, It really did indeed. Seeing the fish collected In a basket made of reed. So I tried it in my garden pond To catch the many coy carp. And when they did succumb, I used my spear so sharp. I fished them out with a net. I put them in a pan. I fried them over a very hot flame And popped them into a can. I took with me to college To eat it for my lunch. I actually got rather peckish And ate it for my brunch. What a fool was I Oh woe is me! For I didn't drain It properly. I left far too much poison in I didn't know till too late. I Shouldn't have used so much cyanide And now I have met my fate. I'm stuck in bed, feeling glum. I'm not allowed outside at all. The doctor said I was a stupid boy But to do it took a lot of gall. So follow this tale Live by this parable Follow the moral, And in poisons don't dabble. (It also cost me thousands of pounds to replace the expensive coy carp.)