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You (Free verse) by sweetzephyr You are the rose that blooms with full fragrance
In the eternal garden of my dreams gratification
And the apparition that I glimpse very frequently
In the mysterious channel of my minds escalator
You are the shadow that falls behind my back
In the broad daylight stroll of my murky fervor
And the cloud that hovers forever and together
In the swirling rhapsody of my hearts sprinkle
You are the rainbow that envelopes my adore
In its scintillating tango with my gloominess
And the echo of the roaring vigorous thunder
In the soundproof clandestine tub of my soul
You are the illimitable fire that burns my core
In its cavernous sanctuary of ephemeral glow
And the hallucination of the nocturnal moon
In between the twinkle of my exploited eyes
Up the ladder:
Thawed
Down the ladder:
frontage
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.2
Posted: December 4, 2002 6:41 AM PST; Last modified: December 4, 2002 6:41 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.904638 Overall Rank: 9810 Comments:
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I did like parts of your poem and would like to see more concrete and understandable metaphors and imagery. All I know about the "You" in your poem are a bunch of metaphors with no real meaning that I can perceive. Good luck:)