poemranker ::You by sweetzephyr

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Free verse № 28462

You

by sweetzephyr

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Dec 2002 · 1 comment

You are the rose that blooms with full fragrance In the eternal garden of my dreams gratification And the apparition that I glimpse very frequently In the mysterious channel of my minds escalator You are the shadow that falls behind my back In the broad daylight stroll of my murky fervor And the cloud that hovers forever and together In the swirling rhapsody of my hearts sprinkle You are the rainbow that envelopes my adore In its scintillating tango with my gloominess And the echo of the roaring vigorous thunder In the soundproof clandestine tub of my soul You are the illimitable fire that burns my core In its cavernous sanctuary of ephemeral glow And the hallucination of the nocturnal moon In between the twinkle of my exploited eyes

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mean 4.20 weighted 4.90 rank 9801 views 112 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

1 comment

[5] Quarton 4-Dec-02/8:00 AM Reply
After reading this twice, I was left with no real understanding of your poems meaning. There are too many metaphors and they seem forced. Ex... "In between the twinkle of my exploited eyes.." or: "In the soundproof clandestine tub of my soul..."

I did like parts of your poem and would like to see more concrete and understandable metaphors and imagery. All I know about the "You" in your poem are a bunch of metaphors with no real meaning that I can perceive. Good luck:)