Quarton4 Dec 2002

After reading this twice, I was left with no real understanding of your poems meaning. There are too many metaphors and they seem forced. Ex... "In between the twinkle of my exploited eyes.." or: "In the soundproof clandestine tub of my soul..."

I did like parts of your poem and would like to see more concrete and understandable metaphors and imagery. All I know about the "You" in your poem are a bunch of metaphors with no real meaning that I can perceive. Good luck:)