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Frozen beauty (Haiku) by INTRANSIT
Icicles looming Crystalline guards hang watchful over greying skies

Up the ladder: At the Olde Absinthe
Down the ladder: Nebulous

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.7777777
Weighted score: 5.888889
Overall Rank: 1485
Posted: November 27, 2002 7:51 AM PST; Last modified: November 27, 2002 7:51 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] UnityMitford @ 167.206.181.179 | 27-Nov-02/8:45 AM | Reply
i want more from the last line. how about "while hitler sniffles," or "inside your stinkhole" or "like the Gestapo"?
[6] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.220 | 27-Nov-02/9:09 AM | Reply
Much better, but ditch the title.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.139 > poetandknowit | 27-Nov-02/12:44 PM | Reply
I guess haiku don't need titles do they? So what didn't I do right here?
[9] vulcan @ 80.242.1.49 | 27-Nov-02/11:29 AM | Reply
edited?it was nice.I revoted.9
[7] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 27-Nov-02/1:48 PM | Reply
under greying skys. 7.
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.77 > <{Baba^Yaga}> | 27-Nov-02/1:56 PM | Reply
I see what you mean. They're guarding the sky,though. That makes them over,yes?
[9] Tigger8023 @ 64.229.155.158 | 27-Nov-02/7:30 PM | Reply
really good
[9] Jill Stockinger @ 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 | 1-Jan-21/12:25 PM | Reply
I don't know that "looming" fits; loved all the rest of it.
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