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Frozen beauty (Haiku) by INTRANSIT Icicles looming
Crystalline guards hang watchful
over greying skies
Up the ladder:
At the Olde Absinthe
Down the ladder:
Nebulous
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.7777777
Posted: November 27, 2002 7:51 AM PST; Last modified: November 27, 2002 7:51 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.888889 Overall Rank: 1485 Comments:
[6]
UnityMitford @ 167.206.181.179
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27-Nov-02/8:45 AM
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Reply
i want more from the last line. how about "while hitler sniffles," or "inside your stinkhole" or "like the Gestapo"?
Much better, but ditch the title.
I guess haiku don't need titles do they? So what didn't I do right here?
edited?it was nice.I revoted.9
under greying skys. 7.
I see what you mean. They're guarding the sky,though. That makes them over,yes?
really good
I don't know that "looming" fits; loved all the rest of it.
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