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The Advice (Free verse) by T. Becquerel
I?ll never forget the morning The mirror unleashed this advice upon me: ?The mist of love has shone upon you, ?Now, with your arms heralding the power of the Universe, ?You stand, without remorse, ?Your skin burned by the eyes of anticipation, ?The army of rejection by your side, ?The impossible odds, ?Which only you have broken, ?Stand forth in retreat. ? Now, to wield the power given, ?Walk hither and halt the Earth. ?Drive time unto loops. ?Strong in your way ?Is the adversity, this mist, ?The improbable animal ?That must not live, ?But lives always, ?And in the end it is her. ?And not her, ?For she lives in your thoughts. ?By your own mind, ?She will kill you.?

Down the ladder: The Big NO

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.2083335
Weighted score: 5.208333
Overall Rank: 4527
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:17 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:17 AM PST
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Comments:
[3]... anonymous @ | 21-Jun-01/11:52 PM | Reply
You set the mood well...
[3]... anonymous @ | 2-Jul-01/1:20 PM | Reply
this sounds familiar, i believe i've died this way before... great insight.
[3]... anonymous @ | 7-Aug-01/1:51 PM | Reply
No real criticism, just a suggestion: I know that long quotes that carry into a new paragraph require a new opening quotation mark, but poetry probably doesn't need to follow that convention. For the most part, I think line breaks are an understood. You probably only need them at the beginning of each new "stanza." If it's just a stylistic choice on your part, I apologize!
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.101 | 4-Jun-02/4:36 PM | Reply
Nice one!
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 17-Jul-02/12:54 AM | Reply
Simply put. True. Hedwig was right about her angry inch.
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