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jane (Free verse) by roses are read she is a unique clich??
slipping sliding tiptoeing shouts
she smells like silk and
feels like spices
i am watching her dance
i am watching jane dance
and there she goes again
like the wind the sun the moon
so high so unreal
unreachable
for me
i am watching me dance
in front of the mirror
in the dressing room in macy*s
and the music goes
takethedaytaketheday
and i sing
janejanejanejane
but she is not listening to me
she is the sun
dancing silent circles around me
"but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
it is the east, and juliet is the sun.
arise, fair sun???.it is my lady, O, it is my love!
o, that she knew she were!"
she is a unique clich??
and i am watching her dance,
just watching.
??
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: November 20, 2002 7:39 AM PST; Last modified: November 20, 2002 7:39 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.0596013 Overall Rank: 6662 Comments:
[n/a]
god'swife @ 209.178.176.169
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20-Nov-02/8:45 AM
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Reply
Take out the Shakespeare. the second stanza is far better than the first though it still needs work. What the hell's a clich?
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.213.23
> god'swife
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20-Nov-02/12:49 PM
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Reply
It is the result of typing 'clich[e acute accent]' into poemeranker and having it mangled up by the Cadlington nentwined's despicable scripts.
so.
You like to watch, don't you?
I liked the flo of this very much, and your diction is lean and sinous and in general this poem holds much promise.
Also, good title. Do you ahve a website? 157 view(s)
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