poemranker ::Determination by Birdman42s

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Free verse № 24429

Determination

Member since 2002 · Posted 9 Nov 2002 · 3 comments

Determination It's not the sparks that leap to bite the sky, the thrill of flames that chase the cold; the warmth I crave is deep, and I'll not rest until the coals themselves I hold. It's not a fragrance poured from twisted lips, its scent diffusing as it drains from life already cored; I want the truth, unbent, and dew that leaves no stains. It's not the steps of mute compliance, nor the pace of those who claim they've won; my pain may be acute at times, but it's my race -- and I have just begun.

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mean 8.22 weighted 6.61 rank 586 views 168 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

3 comments

[6] <~> 9-Nov-02/2:33 PM Reply
you lose the rhythm in the last stanza
[10] vulcan 15-Nov-02/2:57 AM Reply
yes!sounds decisive.it's really good.yes you've lost the rhythm in last line I can say.10.maybe the last satanza has no problem.but is less powerful than the rest of it.
[8] Caducus 15-Nov-02/9:20 AM Reply
deserves to be more read

well done man