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Determination (Free verse) by Birdman42s
Determination It's not the sparks that leap to bite the sky, the thrill of flames that chase the cold; the warmth I crave is deep, and I'll not rest until the coals themselves I hold. It's not a fragrance poured from twisted lips, its scent diffusing as it drains from life already cored; I want the truth, unbent, and dew that leaves no stains. It's not the steps of mute compliance, nor the pace of those who claim they've won; my pain may be acute at times, but it's my race -- and I have just begun.

Up the ladder: Today's Spam
Down the ladder: A Moment In Nowhere

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.222222
Weighted score: 6.611111
Overall Rank: 586
Posted: November 9, 2002 8:29 AM PST; Last modified: November 9, 2002 8:29 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] <~> @ 67.84.171.10 | 9-Nov-02/2:33 PM | Reply
you lose the rhythm in the last stanza
[10] vulcan @ 80.242.3.73 | 15-Nov-02/2:57 AM | Reply
yes!sounds decisive.it's really good.yes you've lost the rhythm in last line I can say.10.maybe the last satanza has no problem.but is less powerful than the rest of it.
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 15-Nov-02/9:20 AM | Reply
deserves to be more read

well done man
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