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Shackles of Reality (Free verse) by rick I see it swinging open
Wide and unobstructed
No obstacles block my path
My future is on the other side
Stepping through the door
I cast away my past
Look from the other side
The iron gate is closing
Shackles of reality
Are set upon my ankles
Feel the sentence of my age
No longer am I free
Imprisoned in my future
My time is for my crime
I pay the price we all must pay
Is birth a felony?
Up the ladder:
Paysage Moralise
Down the ladder:
Death
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.9
Posted: October 23, 2002 5:52 PM PDT; Last modified: October 23, 2002 5:52 PM PDTWeighted score: 3.95 Overall Rank: 13414 Comments:
[0]
god'swife @ 209.179.134.56
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24-Oct-02/5:35 PM
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Reply
Well rick, 4 0's thus far. What you're saying is not news, nor how you go about saying it, novel. In fact, your philosophy is out-of-date and no longer true. Didn't you see Titanic? Mr Cameron's heroes learn their lesson's just for you. There is no reality. Nothing is motionless. The future does not exist. this poem is a relic from a time when humans believed in fate. You must be very young.
[n/a]
rick @ 24.53.9.111
> god'swife
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24-Oct-02/6:51 PM
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Reply
young is a relative term... and i do still believe in fate. however, you're feedback is on the money. thanks for your comments.
[0]
god'swife @ 209.179.136.111
> rick
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24-Oct-02/7:55 PM
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Reply
You must come from a long, long line, and by that I mean a romantic flaw. Relative yes. A son perhaps, left at the doorstep. Cathedral or E.R., it's all the same. Emergencies.
[0]
god'swife @ 209.179.136.111
> god'swife
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24-Oct-02/8:40 PM
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Reply
I think what I meant was, I once felt the same. So relative to me you are young. Death of course is the only fate we know for certain, but I don't think that's the debt you speak of.
rick,
I liked this a lot. Good metaphor and imagery to enhance the poems content. Almost great but still worthy of an eight.
no rick, but your face is.b
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