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requiem for an ex-girlfriend (Free verse) by natalie
-do you remember Julie? my roomate asked. deja vu jealousy filled my mouth. she had been younger than me, kept her virginity past freshman year, chastity belted bitch who stole my boy. her utter goodness making her a hot commodity back in college, when in my eyes love meant he snuck into my room at night to meet me in my bed. -she's dead, cancer. she continued. the facts ripped my stomach open, the immortal juices of the young rushed out tearing me mortal, making me adult and guilty. because cancer was only real for old people who'd smoked all their lives. because now she would always be younger than me, as if she could have caught up.

Up the ladder: Fuck the stars
Down the ladder: Mastermind

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.818182
Weighted score: 5.409091
Overall Rank: 3028
Posted: October 21, 2002 6:23 PM PDT; Last modified: October 21, 2002 6:23 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] Tintagiles @ 207.179.183.160 | 21-Oct-02/6:50 PM | Reply
OH MY GOD!!! Another student!!! Will Blabbitt survive? I find it needs work, especially from 'because cancer was' onwards.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.12 > Tintagiles | 21-Oct-02/6:58 PM | Reply
Grad students rock!
[n/a] limonade @ 142.166.233.161 > poetandknowit | 21-Oct-02/8:41 PM | Reply
Creative writing grad students make me nauseous. Every time I talk to one or hear one read, I seriously consider throwing away my pens and notebooks and never writing again.
[n/a] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.12 > limonade | 21-Oct-02/8:48 PM | Reply
She is not a creative writing grad student is she. I know quite a few literary sorts that carry a grand MFA. Unfortunately, I am not one. And I do not teach in the English disciplines. And put your website back up. It was on my list of things to do one day. Does it have more of your writing than you post here.
[8] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 22-Oct-02/1:15 AM | Reply
I like th fact that the jealousy is still the most prevalent emotion, even at the end. But it's mixed in with shick, guilt and regret as well. That's a lot to cover in a short space.
[7] cleverdevice @ 212.219.142.161 | 22-Oct-02/5:10 AM | Reply
Wow. Very haunting actually. Really makes you think amout your mortality.
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.137.173 | 22-Oct-02/10:56 AM | Reply
Very fine, the ending is strong, I like that.
[9] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 19-Dec-02/1:52 PM | Reply
brilliant.
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