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I Fell From a Dream (Free verse) by x311
I slowly lift my head up from its resting place On a pillow that cushioned the night's memories As I awaken from that world so safe I see snow falling outside my window Slowly coming down and resting upon the ground In the same way, tears fall from my eyes From living in the clouds, I've fallen down But it happened so slowly I was floating so free Until I hit that patch of earth I now lie on the ground looking up Knowing how good it was flying up there--so high Laughing now as I cry I know it can't be long now until I melt What a cruel joke this all has been Watching the other flakes liquefy I scream out--send me someone What little time I do have left, I can't spend alone I don't want to be lonely There is so much love in my heart to give Please let someone share it with me Let her want to rest by my side Let her want to live in my company Let our souls melt together As our bodies are melting away It can be just like in my dreams My dreams can come true, can't they? More snowflakes fall to the ground As my head returns to the pillow it rose from My dreams are so much safer than here I want to live my dreams I want to share my dreams I want to have my dreams come true -Rick Gebhardt 10/20/02

Up the ladder: Short poem
Down the ladder: A Cold Day in March

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.9327645
Overall Rank: 9134
Posted: October 20, 2002 11:00 PM PDT; Last modified: October 20, 2002 11:00 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.179.211.161 | 1-Dec-02/7:45 AM | Reply
Nice outline. Can you reduce it a bit? Find a new way to say things like "What a cruel joke..." "There is so much love..." these are the facts like my eyes or my hands; can you be more distinct? More personal?
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