poemranker ::A Cold Day in March by PunchMeInTheFace

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Free verse № 23422

A Cold Day in March

Member since 2002 · Posted 1 Nov 2002 · 3 comments

If she sits against the wall, she can't feel. Resting all her weight, all her fears and hopes, against the cold stones, she goes numb. Turned off to all the trivial feelings she would have so strongly otherwise, the wall is her sanctuary, her security. The world seems softer somehow, noises dull, and everything fades to white. She leans her head back and rests it. Sometimes she thinks too much. She struggles with herself, but that's not unusual. Anything she could say would mean nothing. Her words slip out, small and barely heard, and softly float to ground. She can almost see them. She sits there with her words, and she can't feel.

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mean 4.75 weighted 4.93 rank 9120 views 126 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

3 comments

[8] New Life Drug 2-Nov-02/5:38 PM Reply
reminds me of a song about this girl who was molested. I dont know if she was molested, probably not. But you describe this girl's feelings well so I give it a 8. It was gunna be 7 but since the title is "a day in march" i gave it an 8.
[6] limonade 3-Nov-02/12:28 AM Reply
I think this would be more intense if written in the first person. The metaphor is weak. I like the weight of her hopes and fears... that's good. But do her hopes really weigh, or are they just tied down by her fears? I see a competition between them.
[n/a] <~> › limonade 4-Nov-02/8:45 AM Reply
i agree with limonade. i also thik she is using her words to drown out her fears, perhaps weaving her own CLOAKE OF SORROWE???