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rapping on caffeine (Free verse) by blackball i have seen the hills
the nameless fury in all directions
i have seen you standing alone
face pointed toward the sullen sky
i have seen innate notions
passed along from black to white
i have seen great people
live and die by the frailty of life
i have seen her
fading slowly away from ecstasy
Up the ladder:
Snack for the Shameless
Down the ladder:
Sweet Dreams
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5454545
Posted: October 8, 2002 9:59 PM PDT; Last modified: October 8, 2002 10:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.2727275 Overall Rank: 3800 Comments:
[7]
god'swife @ 209.178.177.123
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8-Oct-02/11:37 PM
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Reply
Ilike this. Except for "live and die..." how does one live and die by fraility. I'm not getting it. The last couplet is strong, sensual and sad. For your mere 19, not bad at all. 19, good god.
[n/a]
blackball @ 24.224.134.73
> god'swife
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8-Oct-02/11:41 PM
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Reply
i guess what i meant to say was that we are all frail...we live we die...it's the way life goes...it also might have to do with the fact that iwas thinking it up as i was typing it...i dunno
I liked, it was a short poem, but it said so much.
Simplicity is often very effective, as it is here. But the poem itself speaks of complexity, if innate notions can change from black to white, all stability is destroyed.
That's really damn good. Short but says a lot.
it's good
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