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Asthma (Free verse) by jessicazee
What a simple breath should be: Captive air released Without incident Then a sweet ozone afternoon Sitting still, A slack flag. The origin of a wheeze: Dust, a feather, a Marlboro Light - The peal of the phone. Two soap operas pass Before a lung is full Of bee balm, chocolate milk, clarity. Thank your favorite saint For hydrogen, oxygen Potions inspired by breath and being.

Up the ladder: Twilight
Down the ladder: Tomorrow

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10037
Posted: September 30, 2002 3:47 PM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2002 3:47 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.188.228 | 30-Sep-02/6:52 PM | Reply
This has potential. Focus more on the breathing aspects and less on other junk. No score. work it.
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