poemranker ::Asthma by jessicazee

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 18172

Asthma

Member since 2002 · Posted 30 Sep 2002 · 1 comment

What a simple breath should be: Captive air released Without incident Then a sweet ozone afternoon Sitting still, A slack flag. The origin of a wheeze: Dust, a feather, a Marlboro Light - The peal of the phone. Two soap operas pass Before a lung is full Of bee balm, chocolate milk, clarity. Thank your favorite saint For hydrogen, oxygen Potions inspired by breath and being.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.00 weighted 4.88 rank 10021 views 226 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

1 comment

[n/a] INTRANSIT 30-Sep-02/6:52 PM Reply
This has potential. Focus more on the breathing aspects and less on other junk. No score. work it.