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the room's a'spinnin' (Haiku) by nentwined
the room's a'spinnin' mah vision's twinnin', thinnin' should have fuckin' slept

Up the ladder: The Devil and I
Down the ladder: this is your poetry

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 132
.. 00
.. 20
.. 10
.. 10
.. 20
.. 20
.. 01
.. 10
.. 01
.. 03

Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 6.9950547
Overall Rank: 96
Posted: September 30, 2002 10:26 AM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2002 10:26 AM PDT
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Comments:
[4] poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.251 | 30-Sep-02/12:07 PM | Reply
huh.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 30-Sep-02/12:12 PM | Reply
i want more impact on line 3, pretty please.
[n/a] nentwined @ 192.168.0.69 > <~> | 30-Sep-02/12:25 PM | Reply
Hmm. just tossed the poem above the comment on the "reply to comment" page. That should make life a little easier. :) hmm.

more impact... "damn shit fuckin' cunt"? doesn't quite work. probably too delirious to think much about it at the moment. :)

"dawn has passed me by"

"sleep's for the, huh?"

"insert impact here"

"a bloody chainsaw"

"five sa-lyll-a-bles"
[n/a] Frass @ 66.160.116.193 > nentwined | 30-Sep-02/2:08 PM | Reply
First off, thanks for this site, Nntwnd. This haiku reminds me of the lyric from the LP Up the Down Escalator: "had a minor, misunderstanding, with a street lamp, one night". Can you name the artist?
[n/a] nentwined @ 192.168.0.69 > Frass | 30-Sep-02/2:21 PM | Reply
My pleasure, and thanks for thankin'. Graham Parker -- but honestly I had no clue; google is my savior. :) nice lyrics. I don't think my haiku does them justice, but ah trah. I think this one is running to beat DA out of the bottom list, though.
[7] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.188.228 | 30-Sep-02/5:44 PM | Reply
OK, so you're not a kung fu master.
Or a haiku master for that matter.But, it's fun, take a friggin' nap will ya! And thanks for leaving my dumb ass on the site.You knew I'd be back didntcha?
[5] LilMsLadyPoet @ 152.163.100.135 | 11-Jul-05/8:01 AM | Reply
LOL...cute!
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