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the room's a'spinnin' (Haiku) by nentwined the room's a'spinnin'
mah vision's twinnin', thinnin'
should have fuckin' slept
Up the ladder:
The Devil and I
Down the ladder:
this is your poetry
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: September 30, 2002 10:26 AM PDT; Last modified: September 30, 2002 10:26 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.9950547 Overall Rank: 96 Comments:
[4]
poetandknowit @ 65.101.210.251
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30-Sep-02/12:07 PM
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Reply
huh.
i want more impact on line 3, pretty please.
Hmm. just tossed the poem above the comment on the "reply to comment" page. That should make life a little easier. :) hmm.
more impact... "damn shit fuckin' cunt"? doesn't quite work. probably too delirious to think much about it at the moment. :) "dawn has passed me by" "sleep's for the, huh?" "insert impact here" "a bloody chainsaw" "five sa-lyll-a-bles"
First off, thanks for this site, Nntwnd. This haiku reminds me of the lyric from the LP Up the Down Escalator: "had a minor, misunderstanding, with a street lamp, one night". Can you name the artist?
My pleasure, and thanks for thankin'. Graham Parker -- but honestly I had no clue; google is my savior. :) nice lyrics. I don't think my haiku does them justice, but ah trah. I think this one is running to beat DA out of the bottom list, though.
OK, so you're not a kung fu master.
Or a haiku master for that matter.But, it's fun, take a friggin' nap will ya! And thanks for leaving my dumb ass on the site.You knew I'd be back didntcha?
LOL...cute!
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