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Saturation Point (Free verse) by malakin
Charisma served in a coffee cup Get your dimestore dollar-off coupon And serve up some sense of timing Don't go gently into tumultuous teethings About road rage and burnt toast It's trite and tired and It makes me loathe the words There's more to life than pondering posies But not so much you should trample them Maybe sometimes look down when you walk Don't keep your nose in the stratosphere Or you'll miss alot of scenery No one is so special that they don't Have feet that can be as poorly placed As anyone else's. Put one foot in front of the other and Let your mind lead you places You wouldn't walk before because You were trapped in your tuxedo T-shirt And suspenders sitting in solitary Confinement trying to tether your ego To a hot air balloon entourage And float it down Main St. during The Macy's Parade for a little Self-Gratification. You can't get your personality from A pillbox, and I wish you wouldn't Rely on sticky sweet caffeine to Inject your day with awareness. Have you ever actually stood outside and Noticed that there are other beings All around you, living, breathing, And caring and hating. Some are as unaware as you are And exist solely for a terminal relationship. However, there are actually some people Out there who know what it means to Be Human. How hard would it be to actually stop And talk to one of them? Imagine that...

Up the ladder: Strange Days, Indeed
Down the ladder: Mrs. Robinson

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.923077
Weighted score: 4.9437647
Overall Rank: 9014
Posted: May 13, 2002 8:23 AM PDT; Last modified: May 13, 2002 8:23 AM PDT
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Comments:
[4] mogwai @ 203.134.26.2 | 13-May-02/8:31 AM | Reply
Perhaps a little too bitter and judgemental. Some nice phrases though.
[6]... anonymous @ 204.245.176.100 | 13-May-02/10:40 AM | Reply
better than Driftwood. Maybe only because I'm intrigued by your definition of Human. Don't get the "tuxedo T-shirt suspender" line. Hey, why don't you just write a poem about what it means to be Human? Rumi's done it. Rilke, too. Whitman. Try writing this same poem only 2 times shorter.
[6]... anonymous @ 206.132.30.234 | 17-May-02/1:11 PM | Reply
it started off well and then it turned into a swift descent into stupidity
[3] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 194.82.103.42 | 21-May-02/2:10 PM | Reply
You can't serve charisma in a coffee cup. That's just wrong.
[10] itchiwitch @ 203.97.2.243 | 13-Jul-02/3:41 PM | Reply
Really enjoyed your poem, Malakin. I love many of your lines like, 'You wouldn't walk before because
You were trapped in your tuxedo T-shirt and suspenders sitting in solitary confinement' and 'There's more to life than pondering posies
But not so much you should trample them'. A great reflection on pomp and vanity.
[8] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 1-Aug-02/6:44 PM | Reply
you might find out that you're Human, and that would be scary.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.178.176.212 | 4-Sep-02/9:22 AM | Reply
Is this a poem about a mime? It could be. Not really a poem though is it? Sounds like a good talking to.
[7] Bachus @ 24.126.116.54 | 12-Jan-04/11:43 AM | Reply
You should trip the black ones?
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