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Milk Bar (Free verse) by mogwai
He is young He works in a milk bar He tends the counter, smiles at customers. He learns their names. Hello ... Hello ... He remarks on their appearances with compliments. He drinks the milk, sometimes six, eight, ten litres a day. He wipes the milk from his mouth, to say hello ... to smile. He works long hours. Sometimes he turns the radio on. He learns of the world outside. He watches the girls in their uniforms pass by the window. Fresh and clean. He drinks the milk. He says hello ... smiles. He drinks the milk. He is young. He smiles.

Up the ladder: We are not in bed
Down the ladder: Yellow!

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.1538463
Weighted score: 4.381412
Overall Rank: 13019
Posted: May 13, 2002 5:30 AM PDT; Last modified: May 13, 2002 5:30 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5]... anonymous @ 148.108.1.56 | 13-May-02/8:17 AM | Reply
You paint an almost bittersweet picture of this young man's life, but it falls a bit flat. even if you were demonstrating that aspect of his life, it still feels weak.
[7] harrytuttle @ 208.20.220.69 | 12-Jul-02/4:32 AM | Reply
He smiles.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Jul-02/2:05 AM | Reply
Clockwork Orange look out! this is a fuckin masterpiecee
[n/a] razorgrin @ 142.166.108.149 | 16-Jul-02/6:00 AM | Reply
I smile. unnervingly delicious.
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