poemranker ::Milk Bar by mogwai

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Free verse № 1775

Milk Bar

Member since 2002 · Posted 13 May 2002 · 4 comments

He is young He works in a milk bar He tends the counter, smiles at customers. He learns their names. Hello ... Hello ... He remarks on their appearances with compliments. He drinks the milk, sometimes six, eight, ten litres a day. He wipes the milk from his mouth, to say hello ... to smile. He works long hours. Sometimes he turns the radio on. He learns of the world outside. He watches the girls in their uniforms pass by the window. Fresh and clean. He drinks the milk. He says hello ... smiles. He drinks the milk. He is young. He smiles.

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mean 4.15 weighted 4.38 rank 13001 views 176 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

4 comments

[5] anonymous 13-May-02/8:17 AM Reply
You paint an almost bittersweet picture of this young man's life, but it falls a bit flat. even if you were demonstrating that aspect of his life, it still feels weak.
[7] harrytuttle 12-Jul-02/4:32 AM Reply
He smiles.
[n/a] horus8 16-Jul-02/2:05 AM Reply
Clockwork Orange look out! this is a fuckin masterpiecee
[n/a] razorgrin 16-Jul-02/6:00 AM Reply
I smile. unnervingly delicious.