will not heal

A searing pain surges through my body Pulsing with the beat of my black and broken heart Veins struggle to carry their crimson liquid gold But fail as a cold, metalic shard slices through my skin Holding my breath, I push the blade into my wrist Deeper Deeper Closing my eyes And suddenly, all is good I am gone, though only for a moment For a split second, my pains have all vanished Escaped, through this cut, This wound that tears into the fabric of my very soul I find myself floating outside my body Looking down at who I am Cold and black on the outside, all chaos and hate But on the inside, fragile and beautiful One small peice of this vast world And then Just as suddenly as I was gone I am back I pull away the razor Eyes opening quickly Gasping for air Again, I see through my own two eyes The pain rushes back, and I scream inside I look down now, and see my blood-stained clothes A puddle forming around my limp hand Looking closely at my wrist, I see the cuts that have yet to heal Vivid scars remain, even today They will never go away This pain, this torture that they resulted from and were a cause of, Is forever etched into who I am No matter how many long years go by, Although skin will heal, Soul will not And so I live, forever remembering the pain Never quite escaping it Not allowed to forget Always reminded By these scars.