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Little Talons (Free verse) by richa Little talons that I feel perch
on my shoulder when I
look on
the apple and the hair
and I listen to the cough
and the chatter.
Little talons that I feel
even in the absence
of such things
I could not
imagine you not
perched on my shoulder
you could be
mere apparition and still
I could not rid you,
I could only lose you.
Little talons.
Up the ladder:
Anger
Down the ladder:
a bit of theory
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: September 2, 2007 2:50 PM PDT; Last modified: September 2, 2007 2:50 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4145 Comments:
[9]
Ranger @ 86.140.66.215
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3-Sep-07/6:56 AM
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Reply
Nice idea, but it really needs to either be fully punctuated, or not punctuated at all (and let the word and line arrangement do the work). As it is, we have: Little talons that I feel perch on my shoulder when I look on the apple and the hair and I listen to the cough and the chatter. Little talons that I feel even in the absence of such things I could not imagine you not perched on my shoulder you could be mere apparition and still I could not get rid of you, I could only lose you. Little talons.
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