poemranker ::Little Talons by richa

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Free verse № 153778

Little Talons

by richa

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Sep 2007 · 1 comment

Little talons that I feel perch on my shoulder when I look on the apple and the hair and I listen to the cough and the chatter. Little talons that I feel even in the absence of such things I could not imagine you not perched on my shoulder you could be mere apparition and still I could not rid you, I could only lose you. Little talons.

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.24 rank 4143 views 184 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

1 comment

[9] Ranger 3-Sep-07/6:56 AM Reply
Nice idea, but it really needs to either be fully punctuated, or not punctuated at all (and let the word and line arrangement do the work). As it is, we have: Little talons that I feel perch on my shoulder when I look on the apple and the hair and I listen to the cough and the chatter. Little talons that I feel even in the absence of such things I could not imagine you not perched on my shoulder you could be mere apparition and still I could not get rid of you, I could only lose you. Little talons.