poemranker ::Ation by bwaha

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Lyric № 151608

Ation

Member since 2006 · Posted 23 Apr 2007 · 2 comments

I am the fool who waits at your door, With a package in hand, and a line to be signed. You are the fool who stairs at the floor, With a mop meant to clean, and a rag meant to shine. If this poem had meaning I would ask you to seek it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, it’s a waste of your time. If this poem had rhythm I would ask you to feel it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, I’m no good at rhyme. Procrastination, Retaliation, Consternation, Oh, oh, oh. I can rhyme, oh what a time, Ation, ation ation, oh. Suffix creations and fabrications, Just add the ation, There you go. I am a fool who refuses to change. You are a fool who never asks why. Together I guess we’d look pretty strange, But so far we can’t even see eye to eye. If this poem had meaning I would ask you to seek it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, it’s a waste of your time. If this poem had rhythm I would ask you to feel it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, I’m no good at rhyme. I am the fool who waits at your door, With a package in hand, and a line to be signed. You are the fool who stairs at the floor, With a mop meant to clean, and a rag meant to shine. And in the end that’s all there is, Ation, ation, ation, oh.

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mean 4.33 weighted 4.92 rank 9514 views 164 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[6] SupremeDreamer 23-Apr-07/8:06 PM Reply
stairs- stares. Unless there's some sort of pun intended.

That aside, I think you shouldn't have tried to make this a lyric. But, there is a lot of interesting segments in this that kindles my interest, like stanza one, three, and the refrain(s).

It also reminds of how I used "ation" in most of my last post.. though I hadn't contrived it.. nevermind that, I'm woolgathering.

Anyway, I give it a six over-all.
[n/a] bwaha › SupremeDreamer 23-Apr-07/8:15 PM Reply
Thanks for the spelling correction....eep! And mechanics is usually something I'm good at .....

I wasn't sure if it was too ....I dunno, over done or simplistic or what not as a regular free verse which is why I stuck it under lyric, but it was not originally written as such, so I actually like the fact that you called me out on this.

Thanks for the comments, when I go back for an edit, I'll keep 'em in mind...