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Ation (Lyric) by bwaha
I am the fool who waits at your door, With a package in hand, and a line to be signed. You are the fool who stairs at the floor, With a mop meant to clean, and a rag meant to shine. If this poem had meaning I would ask you to seek it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, it’s a waste of your time. If this poem had rhythm I would ask you to feel it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, I’m no good at rhyme. Procrastination, Retaliation, Consternation, Oh, oh, oh. I can rhyme, oh what a time, Ation, ation ation, oh. Suffix creations and fabrications, Just add the ation, There you go. I am a fool who refuses to change. You are a fool who never asks why. Together I guess we’d look pretty strange, But so far we can’t even see eye to eye. If this poem had meaning I would ask you to seek it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, it’s a waste of your time. If this poem had rhythm I would ask you to feel it, But it doesn’t, and frankly, I’m no good at rhyme. I am the fool who waits at your door, With a package in hand, and a line to be signed. You are the fool who stairs at the floor, With a mop meant to clean, and a rag meant to shine. And in the end that’s all there is, Ation, ation, ation, oh.

Up the ladder: Knowledge
Down the ladder: Flower of Life

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.9205313
Overall Rank: 9471
Posted: April 23, 2007 5:23 PM PDT; Last modified: April 23, 2007 5:23 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] SupremeDreamer @ 130.65.109.104 | 23-Apr-07/8:06 PM | Reply
stairs- stares. Unless there's some sort of pun intended.

That aside, I think you shouldn't have tried to make this a lyric. But, there is a lot of interesting segments in this that kindles my interest, like stanza one, three, and the refrain(s).

It also reminds of how I used "ation" in most of my last post.. though I hadn't contrived it.. nevermind that, I'm woolgathering.

Anyway, I give it a six over-all.
[n/a] bwaha @ 172.149.66.146 > SupremeDreamer | 23-Apr-07/8:15 PM | Reply
Thanks for the spelling correction....eep! And mechanics is usually something I'm good at .....

I wasn't sure if it was too ....I dunno, over done or simplistic or what not as a regular free verse which is why I stuck it under lyric, but it was not originally written as such, so I actually like the fact that you called me out on this.

Thanks for the comments, when I go back for an edit, I'll keep 'em in mind...
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