Free verse № 151564
Easter (edited)
Last summer, we fell
and tangoed between
the hips of the hills.
We spooned gawkily into the stinging grass,
our morassed eyes made out
half shadows of gipsy vanners
eating the moon.
*
This Easter Iâve returned to
those trails, cracking the mud,
but not with you.
My sister climbed the kissing gate
and clung to its large eyelid
as it yawned back and forth.
I found those mounds again, by light.
She ran me into its soft belly belting
âthe hills are aliveâ utterly off-key.
It was worth capturing: we took pictures
of our imprints, shadows, our legs by
our ears, elbows on our knees,
(the sheep just watched).
Another gate and we ambled down
the road, the sun was eaten by twigs.
I tried to stamp on each dapple,
Anna skated against the dimples,
till the pub arrived, and pistachios
to crack open. Here, there was no trace left
of past excavations.
2 comments
Were you trying to turn a noun into an adjective? Webster didn't provide a listing, other than for "morass", if that was what you meant. That, or Webster sucks ass.
That aside, I enjoyed it. Nine.
While I would not say this is excellent, I think you did a very good job here. I think you strike the right balance between what is said and what is left unsaid, the only thing I question, like SupremeDreamer, is your used of the word "morassed", it seems, at best, a little awkward.
Each half of this (the part about your sister, and the part addressed to "you") stands well and is strong on it's own, but I think where you join the two together it is a little weak. Perhaps strengthen the connection between these two stories?
Overall, I really like this, though.
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