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you soften me (Free verse) by silvertongueddevil
you soften me like butter and i've been spreading stones on dry bread, and i've been heavy a sack of river stones all a long time wearing their rough edges down leaving sand in my cough and gravel in my words since cock learned to crow and crow learned to fly and fly learned to hum now the ground won't hold me still the sky won't have me but the waters, at last the waters will float me now i don't feel like a rock to their cold hands

Down the ladder: Drinking Gravel

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.230769
Weighted score: 5.168706
Overall Rank: 4962
Posted: May 11, 2002 3:27 AM PDT; Last modified: May 11, 2002 3:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[5]... anonymous @ | 11-May-02/3:32 AM | Reply
Call me daft, but I don't get it? I like the play of words though. :o)
[6] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 14-May-02/3:35 AM | Reply
cute. a bit unsteady in places, but overall nice. :)
[5]... anonymous @ 62.254.32.4 | 19-May-02/10:39 AM | Reply
promise.

starts well, gets banal .. lazy (after "river stones") poetry is not just free association
[6] deleted user @ 66.32.62.135 | 10-Jul-02/4:16 PM | Reply
I lik eit generally, but the "since cock learned to crow" stanza seems out of place.
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