poemranker ::you soften me by silvertongueddevil

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Free verse № 1505

you soften me

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 4 comments

you soften me like butter and i've been spreading stones on dry bread, and i've been heavy a sack of river stones all a long time wearing their rough edges down leaving sand in my cough and gravel in my words since cock learned to crow and crow learned to fly and fly learned to hum now the ground won't hold me still the sky won't have me but the waters, at last the waters will float me now i don't feel like a rock to their cold hands

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mean 5.23 weighted 5.17 rank 4959 views 171 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

4 comments

[5] anonymous 11-May-02/3:32 AM Reply
Call me daft, but I don't get it? I like the play of words though. :o)
[6] nentwined 14-May-02/3:35 AM Reply
cute. a bit unsteady in places, but overall nice. :)
[5] anonymous 19-May-02/10:39 AM Reply
promise.

starts well, gets banal .. lazy (after "river stones") poetry is not just free association
[6] deleted user 10-Jul-02/4:16 PM Reply
I lik eit generally, but the "since cock learned to crow" stanza seems out of place.