| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
close to you and can't be still (Free verse) by silvertongueddevil close to you and can't be still
have to hum around
you are the swing
you are the spin
the sky rolls and
the clouds are ground
and everything unfastened
rains down
you keep me
on my feet
dancing
inside my shoes
singing
into my hands
billboards
that's what i want
postage stamps
that's what i have
Up the ladder:
Ambition?
Down the ladder:
Colours
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: May 11, 2002 3:21 AM PDT; Last modified: May 11, 2002 3:21 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.2689414 Overall Rank: 13176 Comments:
[3]
yarlgrenn @ 192.124.123.254
|
14-May-02/2:16 PM
|
Reply
I am intrigued by the last stanza, but the first couple of lines (of first stanza) kill it for me.
I don't get the last stanza, but the rest is great. The first stanza has a wonderful rhythm.
148 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
