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the lips of your mouth (Free verse) by silvertongueddevil the lips of your mouth
are of a colour
which cannot be found
in the flowers or the skies
it cannot be seen in stones
bird feathers
beetle wings
the eyes of fishes
it does not appear
in any of the art
that litters the world
your lips - my wish
is that you might
lift them to me
one day
Up the ladder:
Ice Cream Truck
Down the ladder:
Let's Do a Test
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.142857
Posted: May 11, 2002 3:15 AM PDT; Last modified: May 11, 2002 3:15 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.3733783 Overall Rank: 13025 Comments:
[5]...
anonymous @ 204.245.176.100
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14-May-02/9:32 AM
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Reply
first of all, "The lips of your mouth" is a tad redundant, don't you think? I see what you're going for and it's nice... but it just doesn't work. And s3 - if you're trying to elevate and show some sort of awe for the color of her lips, then don't compare it with art that LITTERS the world, for fuck's sake. Compare it to something lovelier than bird feathers, etc....
[6]
Tintagiles @ 142.166.234.130
> anonymous
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7-Sep-05/8:18 PM
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Reply
Presuming that this is addressed to a lady, there are a couple of other sets of lips he could be writing about...
oooohhhhh
Ok-7/10
Why the 'eyes of fishes', which are rather boring, as opposed to their scales, which can be quite rainbow-like?
And if you're adoring someone, isn't requesting them to lift their lips a bit ungallant -- even if they're shorter, they're supposed to be on a pedestal... 171 view(s)
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