DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

People vs Corps.

Member since 2006 · Posted 12 Oct 2006 · 2 comments

We are the sensitive one's one's who insist the truth be revealed, Not the one's who polish and shine so hard the enamel comes off We are the one's with real concerns survival, common sense, equality, You want a fight well you have nothing fighting yourself fighting a stanger give it up Thrones of stones glistening light that signals S.O.S. -help me I'm pretending So if you want to pretend play a board game you buy at Target not the game playing people at the board meeting Public domain will be open again along with your empty chamber between your bones.

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2 comments

[8] Ranger 12-Oct-06/10:48 AM Reply

Like the play of words in the title - corps/corpse. Could turn this into a zombie poem if you tried, still carrying the same message. Typo throughout - "ones" ("'" for possessive or compounding). I think there should be a comma in line 21 between 'me' and 'I'm'. 'Buy at Target'? Is there a pun there that I'm missing? Decent write though.

[n/a] Jack Diamond › Ranger 18-Oct-06/10:17 AM Reply

I guess I'm not "one" for technicalities as long as my opinions are clear. I realize now that I approached this poem in a colloquial manner as though I was speaking to a friend about my view of a corporate drone - (person who works for corperations that profit off the low income individual).As for possessiveness: I think I would be more possessive if I didn't share my opinion, and I sure do wish not to own this opinion all to myself. I have talked with people who feel the same way. As for compound: I would have to say there is no mixed feelings, or two or more seperate things combined together, such as humor and appalling insensitivity. I'm just telling it how I see it. Thanks for giving mind to my poem...JD