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October (Other) by A_Dark_Calm
October brings such lonely things; early nights on icy toes, dead leaves pressed against the road or in piles that explode when a bitter gust of wind blows. Here throughout these 31 days like a tree losing its leaves I wait for her and in turn she prays because my L--- believes in true love and in destiny, in miracles and God’s will. So I wait for her like that leafless tree and I wait and I wait for her still. Her faith has made me sturdy, her love has kept me warm and a day has past and left me 30 more before she’s back at home and one step closer to my arms. Once she’s home come November she’ll ask to wait a while longer and somehow I’ll grow stronger and still on through to December when love seems to radiate from the hearth of our hearts still on and on I’ll wait and even as the new year starts. Till spring comes and that lonely tree spouts leaves so green and wet I’ll be waiting patiently until her mind is finally set and if it takes till summer’s heat brings sweat upon my brow I shall not go, shall not retreat I’m too deeply rooted now. Each year by year I’ll hold her nearer to my heart, my mind, my soul No matter how our fates unfold as this man grows older in the mirror my love for L--- will never wane. The winds may howl and scream, clouds may darken and rain but never will I lose the dream. No storm can breach us, no distance outreach us nothing will turn me from you L--- Though I may age, leaves fall, branches lean through it all my L--- our love is evergreen.

Up the ladder: My Dad's Armchair.
Down the ladder: Master Takes

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.4
Weighted score: 5.286087
Overall Rank: 3753
Posted: October 11, 2006 6:19 PM PDT; Last modified: October 11, 2006 6:19 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 12-Oct-06/1:17 AM | Reply
Sweet, very sweet. I'd like to see the rhythm you start with continued all the way through - some of the shorter lines in particular disrupt the way it runs. The end of stanza one is to die for ('a day has passed and left me 30/more before she's back at home' works wonders). Perhaps you could trim a few occasions of 'love' here and there - by the time I got to the end, the word had lost a lot of its impact through the repetitions.
Still a lovely, lovely read :-)
[n/a] A_Dark_Calm @ 71.75.191.229 > Ranger | 13-Oct-06/7:19 AM | Reply
I don't know I guess because I'm in love I love saying the word love more and love writing love more. Love is a lovely cliche don't you think. Besides, girls love to hear there men do all that love talk. I imagine my poems soon will start sounding like "Love and love went up a love to fetch a pale of love" If so forgive me and blame love.
[8] nypoet22 @ 72.144.83.149 | 12-Oct-06/6:24 PM | Reply
what's with not saying the name?

otherwise lovely.
[n/a] A_Dark_Calm @ 71.75.191.229 > nypoet22 | 13-Oct-06/7:11 AM | Reply
Trust me I have good reasons but I must stay hush.
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