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Torn... (Free verse) by loneshadow29 In a world of uncertainty
I dwell in a house of sorrow
Inner demons once silenced
Their voices return to haunt me
Cutting into my very soul
Sitting on a throne of doubt
Unsure of what to do
My heart and mind unclear
Torn by the unknown
Frozen solid with fear
Depression's icy touch
Chilling me to the bone
What must be done to rid me
of this horrid burdensome beast
I sit and ponder silently
As my demons casting dark words,
sorrowful thoughts into my mind
I pray for the answers to come soon
So my eyes may return to clarity
To see the world once again
In the light I've always wished to see
Up the ladder:
Curse
Down the ladder:
Body Language
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5454545
Posted: September 12, 2002 6:26 AM PDT; Last modified: September 13, 2002 9:33 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.7727275 Overall Rank: 11367 Comments:
[7]
vulcan @ 80.242.3.82
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12-Sep-02/7:50 AM
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Reply
Dark indeed!7
perhaps 'burdensome beast' would work better for you. a beast of burden is an ox, or the like, and i don't think you're writing about going around with farm animals strapped to your back. regardless, i hope that, by now, you have shed it.
thanks for the comment... burdensome beast doest sound a bit better and thank god that burden has long since been shed. :o)
dark indeed. But i do like it 10/10 =)
dark indeed. But i do like it 10/10 =)
the universe does not care about you .... work for your own 'salvation' .... 3
I'm sorry you felt my poem deserved such low marks... Just to let you know that I have worked to find my salvation and I've achieved it... and I really don't care if the universe doesn't care about me... because I know the people who do... I wrote how I felt... end of story... I don't mind criticism but to be rude is another story...
I like your answer very much!I feel really great that you've really felt your poem!I read it once more and am reviewing your poems!just a curiosity,have you read "The City of Dreadful Night"?He knew how to console us!we LoneShadows!please let me know if you have!
Unfortunately, I've never read "The City of Dreadful Night" until just now... and I'm glad that you mentioned it... such dark words he spoke... I knew those words well... thank you once again...
:o(
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