poemranker ::Contractual Paradox of the Old by Dovina

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Free verse № 144676

Contractual Paradox of the Old

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 19 Jul 2006 · 7 comments

His eyes on mine across the table, his thoughts already in my bed. My heart is ready, but: a paper bound the two of them before she died, and it binds us not; the church’s blessing on their coupling blesses not ours. But if he’s fulfilled again, he must do it soon, for he’ll be not able long, and a second paper’s not like hers, not from only youth and passion, devoid of assets, heirs and such. To go where she would never go, or hold the truths I’ve always held: a legal tie or one of love, a complication or a joy.

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7 comments

[10] amanda_dcosta 20-Jul-06/8:17 AM Reply
Beautiful... it's like you tell a story, oh well, what am I talking... you are telling a story ... of expectations and of hoping. Give it time... and the story will unfold further... though it's hard work.
[n/a] Dovina › amanda_dcosta 20-Jul-06/9:49 AM Reply
Thanks, Mandy. Kids don't think about the standards their parents lived by and how it is for them now they're old. Instead of compassion, they poke insult, and it's bunk.
[8] ALChemy 20-Jul-06/12:26 PM Reply
This reminds me of the movie "Network". You should rent it and pay attention to the love story part of the movie. The part with Faye Dunawaye and that old guy. Also, I wonder if this guy has a five year plan.
This sounds more like someone's diary entry than a poem meant to evoke the readers feelings or thoughts.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 20-Jul-06/4:59 PM Reply
I have seen neither the movie nor the diary of which you speak. As for the guy’s five year plan, it looked to me, as I was watching their eyes meet, that his intentions went way beyond that.
[8] ALChemy › Dovina 24-Jul-06/6:41 PM Reply
The 5 yr. plan was an obscure reference to the scene in the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy where he asks his girlfreind why she's dumping him for a much older man. Here's the lines that follow:
Vanessa: "He has a five year plan."
Sonny: "What is it? 'Don't die'?"
[9] Ranger 20-Jul-06/1:22 PM Reply
Yet again you've raised the standard of your writing even further. The only thing I'm uncertain of here is the colon after 'but'. Nothing else to say.
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 20-Jul-06/8:58 PM Reply
I love flattery, even with an uncertain but.