I locked my midget wife in a cupboard That was last night. I guess I should feel guilty I will let her out today Providing she admits she was wrong We were having a conversation An argument in fact About gender And the eternal battle of the sexes She says that women are just as good as men I say she says it, she stutters it, eventually I say it is bollocks, stutter free I mean, what have women ever done? She says that women can multi-task (Those of you who know my wife Know she has no legs, and only one arm Which is sadly stunted, and is of little use) So I started listing all the great women of History Albert Einstein, Galileo, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Darwin, Rembrandt, Van Gogh, da Vinci John Stuart Mill, Emanuel Swedenborg Ludwig Wittgenstein, Copernicus, William Sidis Avicenna, Srinivasa Ramanujan Shakespeare, Dickens, Hugo Plato, Stephen Hawking, Aristotle Karl Marx, Gandhi, Mozart, Beethoven, Bach Gershwin, Wagner, Homer, Twain Michelangelo, Picasso, Virgil Jesus, Muhammad, Caesar Edison, Bell, Nobel, Columbus It was at this point that she said That men were also responsible For most the evil in the world Hitler, Stalin, Ivan the T..T..T..Terrible Hussein, Bush, Bin Laden Tse-Tung, Pol Pot, Pinochet, Genghis Khan And I had to agree. Most of them were naughty But then, I said, at least they WERE in power And don’t give me any of this ‘Men hold us back’ crap If you were that great we wouldn’t be able to And why is it, I asked, that women waited until Almost everything that was useful Had already been discovered, thought of Or invented by men, before claiming parity? For crying out loud, it was even a man Who invented the Tampon At that point I got bored of the argument And locked her in the broom cupboard And there she will stay, until she admits That I am right and she is wrong And that women are the weaker sex. Or until I need a blow job, whichever comes first.