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My Culture (Final Version) (Free verse) by Wakeboarder20
Sex is a backbone. Break it and we fall. Babies are relative thrown around, mistreated, adored, and forgotten. Welcome to my culture. Reporting entertainment while millions die. But if it doesn’t happen outside our windows it doesn‘t make the news. Bleed and drown in magazines. Perfect figure and image. With a size of zero on the mind little girls look for salvation. Disorders, diets, and pain. Bleeding through their eyelids. Keeping it up at 90. Thank God for little blue pills. But deaths at 15 from the forgotten diseases. That pill, well, it’ll come one day. A culture of image, reputation and value. A culture big on loss, ever so small on gain. Not too blind to see hope but too ignorant to seize it. Welcome to my culture.

Up the ladder: Restless rest.
Down the ladder: daddy's little girl

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.0
Weighted score: 4.905148
Overall Rank: 9723
Posted: June 12, 2006 9:11 PM PDT; Last modified: November 8, 2006 5:10 PM PST
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Comments:
[8] nypoet22 @ 72.144.83.149 | 12-Oct-06/6:19 PM | Reply
the repetition doesn't really work for me here. when i read only the parts in each verse that come before "welcome to my culture," i like the poem a whole lot better. repetition of that sort is supposed to build you into a rhythm of some sort, and i think those parts are more of a disruption than anything else. i wish i could be more specific about what about those lines bugs me, but right now all i can say is that they make my brain itch.
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