nypoet2212 Oct 2006

the repetition doesn't really work for me here. when i read only the parts in each verse that come before "welcome to my culture," i like the poem a whole lot better. repetition of that sort is supposed to build you into a rhythm of some sort, and i think those parts are more of a disruption than anything else. i wish i could be more specific about what about those lines bugs me, but right now all i can say is that they make my brain itch.