Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

dr. bowmp bowmp (Free verse) by FreeFormFixation
everybody, everybody, everybody, operation! you're invited to the party! I'm glad that you could make it. See, my stitches and my seams have split wide open. (Such a sick sight to see). So I'm glad that you make housecalls, even for a fool like me who might have slipped inside a shower stall, got hit by the sink. Dr., Dr., don't pull that needle out so quick. I need an anesthetic, not a nightly knitting lesson. Dr., Dr., hurry up and stitch the rip before the beads and clumps of cotton line my coffin bit by bit. You gotta get up, you gotta get out your black bag and your stethoscope. Pull out all the stops, see what makes me tick. She pulled the silver plate out. She cued a super fade out. Then reaching for the pot she dropped a coffee in her lap. It must have been a lot too hot, she coughed a bit and dropped her watch. At least she knows what time she choked, cuz that's right where it stopped. Dr., Dr. I'm so sick! But do I buzz when you touch me? But do I buzz when you touch me? Dr., Dr., Don't pull that needle out so quick. I need an anesthetic, not a nightly knitting lesson. Dr., Dr., hurry up and stitch the rip before the beads and clumps of cotton line my coffin bit by bit.

Up the ladder: Nature
Down the ladder: Waikiki

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8869
Posted: May 29, 2006 11:06 PM PDT; Last modified: May 29, 2006 11:06 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 1-Jun-06/5:23 AM | Reply
Stanza 3 is absolutely glorious. I'd get rid of stanzas 4 and 8, they detract from the amusement of the rest of it. The end of stanza 4 put me in mind of Crash Test Dummies' 'Here I Stand Before Me'. Great song.
[n/a] FreeFormFixation @ 70.225.185.202 > Ranger | 3-Jun-06/1:57 AM | Reply
it's a real song and i'll post the link when we have it up. sorry, but them detracting stanzas gotta stay.
194 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001