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A South London Lullaby (Free verse) by Caducus Swollen as the Thames
she wiped her breast,
laid Aaron down
humming a lullaby
to dull reality.
Daddyâs gone a-hunting.
Mummyâs gone a-hiding.
Aaronâs gone asleep.
Dreaming of a rabbitskin.
Swollen as the Thames
she wiped blood from bruises,
laid Aaron down
opening her blouse
to feed reality.
Daddyâs gone a-buying
fuschias for his Princess
begging forgiveness from
Rapunzel of the tenements,
until Friday night
when sheâs a whore again.
Up the ladder:
My Obsession
Down the ladder:
On January's Terms
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: April 18, 2006 5:11 AM PDT; Last modified: April 18, 2006 5:11 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.119203 Overall Rank: 5830 Comments:
Sad and good. I don't know about the Rapunzel line. The last 4 lines need more of a lulaby sound, I think.
Good stuff. Imp's pointed out 'Princess', and Dovina has said about 'Rapunzel', both of which I'd substitute for something more Old Testament, which fits with Aaron - and also, 'tenements' conjures up 'tenets' as well (tenets of faith). My brain is a bit burnt out at the moment (still recovering my sleep pattern from doing night shifts), but a biblical whore (not Magdalene though, I don't think she'd fit) would seem right. Try as I might, I just can't bring the obvious name to mind right now, I'll let someone else help me with the Scripture.
John 3
The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Good quote. Who's the most famous (infamous?) Old Testament prostitute? And more importantly, why can't I remember her name?
Rahab
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i like how the second verse nicely foretells of daddy's exploits in the third verse. and then it leads me to think that maybe she is fulfilling her own destiny?
if the second verse is what Mummy sings, i think quotes may help.
also, i don't think the last two lines are required. perhaps try changing "Princess" to another word that would convey his infidelity by definition [hint: ends with "-ess"]. the fact that he is buying the flowers means he will do this again, hence the last two lines become superfluous.
well written...