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view from the top (Free verse) by pollywolly lost
i flounder
and stumble on the path
running faster
to stay ahead
of the cold fingers
grasping at me
from within the mist
which swiftly
creeps down the mountain
behind me
and swallows the land below
hiding
her glorious
view from the top
Up the ladder:
one
Down the ladder:
cacoon
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Posted: April 15, 2006 1:51 AM PDT; Last modified: April 15, 2006 1:51 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.029801 Overall Rank: 7298 Comments:
[6]
Dovina @ 12.72.42.224
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15-Apr-06/11:32 AM
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Reply
Good until the last 3 lines, which negate her glorious view. Maybe she looks above the mist.
Interesting. Is her glorious view of the sky, with the mist obscuring the unnoticed land below, or is it covering the glorious land, which she's trying to see?
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