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rain shadow (Free verse) by yarlgrenn
winter is glooming now dripwater sliding down windowpanes my mind hoared with frost, slicing clocks and stale breakfasts, muddied plans and senseless perseverence there was a time when rain would dribble me mad pounding, pounding on the eaves [like the old story by the old dead man where it rains and rains and rains [and no one ever gets to see the sun [and the rain always dripping, sliding slipping into face [between eyebrows, down ears, past neck [and trickling into partially opened mouth] not now: I've girded myself with walls, bitter fortifications and disembodied trenches. it is raining when I open my eyes in the dark to the sound of music or clamoring or rustling in the night I think I am still asleep my nightbrain conjuring dream-murmurs to strangle me but I feel the burn inside my eyes I know I have never been asleep: still waiting to ride that wyrdness into dream. darkness raining a nightmare haunted my chair demurely weeping softly in the night and I was swarmed by a thousand thousand hungry toothsome ducks, all wanting my bread though I had none...

Up the ladder: Witness to a Murder
Down the ladder: Bring back the golden calf

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7495
Posted: May 10, 2002 1:42 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2002 1:58 PM PDT
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Comments:
[1]... anonymous @ 206.132.30.234 | 17-May-02/9:16 AM | Reply
good use of language... although the content leaves me dry. There is a certain muscularity to the piece, though, particularly in the last stanza. The verbs are nicely potent. But still... not as compelling as I think you mean for it to be.
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 11-Jul-02/11:56 PM | Reply
Hauntingly familiare
[9] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Aug-02/5:09 PM | Reply
still so familiar it brings the hair up on the back of my neck..fuck! unreal! you are the aloe-vera at the shriner's hospital.. balcony.actor.emancipation proclamation.applause!!!!!!!!!!!t
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