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rush hour (Free verse) by pollywolly
the summer green leaves rustle as the roar it roars makes fear run through me brings sweat to my pores while the sun beats down upon the beings who bask they are brave to face the roar while i, i hide behind the sand made panes and watch, watch as chaos descends

Up the ladder: mundane routine
Down the ladder: Idle

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8835
Posted: January 11, 2006 7:50 AM PST; Last modified: April 19, 2006 12:52 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 81.152.176.97 | 19-Apr-06/1:10 AM | Reply
Not sure about using 'roar' so many times, although animalistic I'm sure there are alternatives which carry the same feral weight. Also, 'sand-made' panes.
Other than that, I really like the idea in this, describing yourself, I presume, as a small woodland creature watching some savage, lionesque beast. In the main it has great word choice and good imagery.
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