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Lucky (Free verse) by suejonespoetry I am trying something new
A new style of poetry
Writing from the heart and what is inside
Rather then rhyming all the time
So here is the best I can do
And I donât care what you think
Here in Florida there has been some disasters
But I am happy still
My family is with me
And feel sorry for the people with their homes destroyed
Something I could never imagine
What sorrow they must have!
I am sorry!
My house stands tall, with the fridge full
My family sits with my at dinner
And go to bed in a warm house
Our roof doesnât leak
Hardwood floors to boot
Yes, I am lucky and make it took me this long
For me to realize it
Up the ladder:
The End of the Affair
Down the ladder:
Those eyes have dreams
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: October 13, 2005 5:04 PM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2005 5:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.976287 Overall Rank: 8307 Comments:
[9]
jessicazee @ 205.188.116.139
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14-Oct-05/1:04 AM
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Reply
Omit the 1st 3 stanzas, they don't matter for for real writing out loud; after that, very good --- keep expressing that tough, genuine voice. Don't let your wallflower alter-ego write prefacing disclaimers for your really right-on, deadpan visions that speak for themselves. good job. 8.6
One more thing after reading this again --- you are a great writer, and I mean that because I heard you say this out loud; if not here in my room, but the way you say your words without backpedaling. Yeah.
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