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My First Boyfriend (Free verse) by jessicazee
I drove your Datsun, my couch an ell, subterranean blue eyed Stockbridge-Munsee tribe in Converse and balding socks you lived upstairs from China Palace your waterbed sucked me in at Quarters you played good flute while rain poured in on drumsets and I clapped so hard I yelled your name I said I love your songs your hat and shoes

Up the ladder: My Golden Birthday
Down the ladder: Ignorance

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6742
Posted: October 6, 2005 12:26 AM PDT; Last modified: October 6, 2005 12:26 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 24.172.198.142 | 6-Oct-05/4:30 PM | Reply
From "your waterbed sucked me in" on it's good.
[10] zodiac @ 213.186.184.106 | 8-Oct-05/3:56 AM | Reply
Brilliant. Always a pleasure. I have no idea how to critique or edit your poems. Brilliant.
[n/a] jessicazee @ 64.12.117.5 > zodiac | 9-Oct-05/8:24 PM | Reply
zodiac- shut UP. thanks so much, really, b'cause I think yr stuff is , like, stick-in-my-heady and good too. Ew, like, let's have a poemy stroke session, yuh, hee. But I do post on this site for critique, so feel free. I'll do the same.
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