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My First Boyfriend (Free verse) by jessicazee I drove your Datsun,
my couch an ell, subterranean
blue eyed Stockbridge-Munsee
tribe in Converse and balding socks
you lived upstairs
from China Palace
your waterbed
sucked me in
at Quarters you played good flute
while rain poured in on drumsets
and I clapped so hard
I yelled your name
I said I love
your songs
your hat and shoes
Up the ladder:
you may find yourself here
Down the ladder:
Pane Glass Lake
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: October 6, 2005 12:26 AM PDT; Last modified: October 6, 2005 12:26 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.0596013 Overall Rank: 6704 Comments:
[7]
Dovina @ 24.172.198.142
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6-Oct-05/4:30 PM
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Reply
From "your waterbed sucked me in" on it's good.
Brilliant. Always a pleasure. I have no idea how to critique or edit your poems. Brilliant.
zodiac- shut UP. thanks so much, really, b'cause I think yr stuff is , like, stick-in-my-heady and good too. Ew, like, let's have a poemy stroke session, yuh, hee. But I do post on this site for critique, so feel free. I'll do the same.
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