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The choices we make (Free verse) by darby pyn
A fire deep inside wonât let me lament.
inoculate the soars with rhetorical cement.
born for breeding and dying young
like my father and like his son.
my carnal vices hold no sect
Iâm secular form that intellect
it held me down in itâs archaic fist.
and kept me blind below the mist
of forgery with a smile. guilty without
a trial. in my Shiva I mourned my
youth with callow ignorance I
stayed aloof. promiscuous with
every shot I laid her down
above my cot and lose
myself below the belt
and watch her inhibitions
melt and for a moment we
were one. I promised her the moon
and sun. but in the morning I just stood
still watching her cry by the doorway sill
and as the door closed behind her back I suffered my first
heart attack.
that day I knew I had no soul
and blamed it on no self-control.
years would pass and the taste would
sting with every memory the past would
bring.
till I was left alone to cower
in the corner of my judgment hour
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Arithmetic Mean: 2.3333333
Weighted score: 4.6821256
Overall Rank: 12173
Posted: June 29, 2005 9:45 AM PDT; Last modified: June 29, 2005 9:45 AM PDT
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Comments:
175 view(s)
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"inoculate the soars with rhetorical cement"
inoculate (make immune through the introduction of a micro-organism or virus in a cultured medium)
"make immune the sores with rhetorical cement"
so, the disease you are trying to prevent is rhetorical cement?
okay, rhetorical means what? Something said to produce an effect rather than a response. so rhetorical cement is what? cement that is cemented to produce an effect rather than a response?
I am not good enough to try rhyming anything. I don't have a strong enough vocabulary to reach for rhyme AND rhythm...and I've been reading and writing for a long time.
The way I meant âinoculate the soars with rhetorical cementâ
is this is a poem about a man at a young age who hated what he saw.
the government. his dad a poor man sent to war lost a limb
and gets spit at on return, say the church who beats him
and in his eyes full of hypocrisy. so say you want to memorize
a number, 856, 856 , 856. you repeat it over and over.
as a child he is saying âI will never be like thatâ
over and over. and in that case which I meant it
the phrase works.
thanks for your insight.