Poemranker [Poem: the art of dreaming (screaming)] [by brazen] Thu Nov 21 09:23:12 PST 2024

no dream comes alive as reality ascends to life the wall has toppled over leaving me gasping for breath a world spinning on the head of a nail being slowly driven into the stud compulsively confused I become fighting thoughts back with a shudder those soles are worn thin walking across the barron Earth that soul was worn thin being so dragged into death The One told me this was real lies, opinions, fantasy The One helped me to peel truths, facts, reality The One was me?

[7] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 2-Sep-02/5:38 PM | Reply

alright...change the title to "the art of dreaming (screaming), and change "ground" to 'stud'...and "pound" to 'shudder' ...change the word "the" to "no" and vice versa...to create a more courageous approach to a poem that's been written 5 million and twenty eight third times. change the word "my" to 'that'..trust me...oh and switch "birth" and "death" also...this is your editor speaking...if you don't make these changes i will not be held accountable to the damages rendered.a

[n/a] brazen @ | 2-Sep-02/9:35 PM | Reply

alright, alright...even i, a stubborn man raised and true, will listen and subdue...i just need more patience and guidance...and do you want me to replace EVERY 'the' with 'no' and switch 'birth' with 'death'...i'll call up p. diddy and get with the remix

[n/a] brazen @ | 3-Sep-02/10:18 PM | Reply

i hope this is more along the lines of what you were speaking of...i made a couple of my own changes to help...i think

[5] Katie @ 169.139.16.2 | 13-Sep-02/9:07 AM | Reply

I agree with the changes that have been sujested to you, shoule should edit it a lttle, and see what you come up with 5/10 =)