Terror Too Tranquil

I know no fear of night anymore, but the stillness still sits inside my eyes, projecting past injuries as entertainment. You're there, I know, though nowhere to be seen like so many times later for me. My body is snuggling but struggling down deep in downy half-sleep to keep alert stay awake, quick breaths are taken. One ear exposed ever vigilant of violence near to appear. Eyes on the door five feet across the floor I know the distance is two steps for Him. Pause brings peace, but never release. I lived like this for near twenty years, nailed to my bed covering my head to blunt the first blow. This fragment of time still fills my mind with terror too tranquil to escape.