Beer in hand in hand, beware evil doers Here comes drunk man He might not be sober But he'll defeat thee With the contents of his can He raises his sweet ambrosia to his lips Chugs it dry and gives the empty a kiss Takes the tabs and flicks it in the barrel of the gun Foams another can in the villain's eyes Then proceeds to threaten his foes with his piss Give him a bottle, and he'll take on any bad guy Just give him a sip, and its done He'll fight the good fight, the bigger they are The drunker, he'll have to become So that he can get the battle won Bottle caps and cigarettes are his favorite weapon With amazing aim, and controlled force, he flicks them Hard enough to knock out dastardly villains Beware, booze and smoke in hand you No-one can ever kill him Beware evil doers, he'll defeat thee Beer and maybe a smoke in hand He might not be sober But here comes drunk man With the contents of his can