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How I got my Jacket back (Prose Poem) by luzrheroguy
The girl was a cock tease
She'd been on my nut sack all night
Then the bitch left me
I don't know why
It could have been the bouncer
Who'd been chasing me all night
It might have been the 8 ball of cocaine
I did off her ass
Or maybe it was the police man
Who came knocking on the cheap hotel room door
What ever it was
The bitch left me
So there I was
Naked in the back-streets of Amsterdam
My clothes hanging from the fire escape
Of some hooker's apartment
When I noticed a car coming down the alleyway
And I decided to do something desperate
I jumped onto the hood of the car
Guy thought he'd killed me
He stopped and got out
He didn't notice the crowbar in my hand
I don't know where I found it
Probably by that trash can over there
Cause if not, I have no idea
I cold clocked him
He had nice taste
I borrowed his nice ar-mani suit
And the cash contents of his wallet
I left the credit card though
I only stole because I was desperate
Not because I plan on making a career out of it
He happened to have been driving
Oddly enough, A Volkswagen Jetta
So I drove to the local hash bar
And of yea... They were open
So I wasted all my money
It wasn't until then that I realized
My plane ticket home was in my Jacket pocket
So after smoking another bowl or two
I got back into my borrowed car
Drive thru the red light district trying to figure out
Where the fuck that alley way was
When I saw her standing on the corner
Wearing my Jacket
Bitch
Standing next to her was her pimp
Who also happened to be the policemen
Apparently they had this scam going to rip off Americans
Lets just say I didn't like that
I didn't like that at all
So I walked up to the bitch
Then
Things got a little fucked
See her pimp
He might not have been a cop
But he sure as hell had a gun
And I, having started out this adventure naked
Didn't
So when he told me to back off
I thought about it
I got into my borrowed Jetta
I even started the engine
Then
It hit me
An inspirational flash
This car isn't mine
And I'd have a hard time explaining
What the fuck happened
Without a damn good lawyer
When it dawns on me
I can kill three birds with one stone
I grab the heaviest thing I can find in the car
Which happens to be this guy's book bag
I put it in gear, and floor the brake
Lowered the bag to the gas petal and opened the door
I took aim and as the tires started squealing
My foot came off the brake
And I closed that door quicker than shit
And thats how that story ends
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 8.2
Weighted score: 6.6
Overall Rank: 602
Posted: March 10, 2005 11:42 PM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2005 11:42 PM PST
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