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Paedophile at st catherine's (Free verse) by Mona Lisa
Lips purse. Breathing life into a folded void, born from dead lips the euphoric serpent spits sinking in pearl islands In a vinyl valley of degradation. He cries She squeaks. Opposite the Infant school this Darkness dweller traps your child in binoculars, playing in clear circles. Pupils in pupils Dilated Fixated his hands move with time bomb clocks two hours till home time. Draws full of themed candy Spiderman and Sindy, Scratches on a hobby horse By collages of innocence Immortalized on Polaroid walls of silence. Next morning Class register ‘Sarah Hargreaves’ ‘SARAH HARGREAVES’ is crossed next to ticks.

Up the ladder: the birds are still here
Down the ladder: The devils win

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.8
Weighted score: 4.9761596
Overall Rank: 8351
Posted: January 26, 2005 4:27 AM PST; Last modified: January 26, 2005 4:27 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 66.248.82.95 | 26-Jan-05/5:27 AM | Reply
Sounds like you should pitch this as a Public Awareness Commercial...
[2] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 26-Jan-05/6:19 AM | Reply
It's Cindy, not Sindy - God if you're going to write about kids issues at least have the bedrock of your poem secured before trying to make a "point" about some disgusting serpent which spits pearl islands.

Honestly, what a lot of nonsense.
[n/a] Mona Lisa @ 172.189.154.57 > Stephen Robins | 26-Jan-05/6:46 AM | Reply
Stephen you are such a knob jockey

1) Sindy dolls is with an S not a C
2) If you actually put the same amount of thought into your critique as I did writing this then your comment would be worth taking seriously.
3) Reading your poetry is like wading through muck.

Good day to you.



[7] Jill Stockinger @ 127.0.0.1 | 26-Dec-20/9:45 AM | Reply
Drawers full not draws.
Some very good lines.
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