Vulture

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Jan 2005 · 3 comments

It is the mindless confusion with the fury like a beast that keeps our heart shifting; Tainted in the after glow, words need not spoken. The vulture had come to pick his meal squawking like a monster ripping away the flesh that sits maggoted and forgotten. One after another they all seem to find the victim. It is the youth that our vulture prays upon, defenseless and with out cause. Justification; need none. For it was The inner beast that glorified the sacrifice killings. Humble and wise I look up to him.

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mean 5.25 weighted 5.03 rank 7358 views 145 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[8] Dovina 16-Jan-05/8:41 PM Reply

Grammar!

[7] Shuushin 16-Jan-05/8:50 PM Reply

how bout a couple line breaks there?

An observation: in places you omit a word, apparently because it isn't needed - and I agree with that philosophy, but in others you pack in little extra ones as if you get paid by the letter (the first three words for starters, the on nearly every line, the first two or three.

Clean that crap out and it won't be so pants.

[6] tangerinepuddle 17-Jan-05/3:13 PM Reply

good poem, some of the lines seem to start in the wrong place though. over all, I liked it.