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Vulture (Free verse) by Stacy Stewart It is the mindless confusion
with the fury like a beast
that keeps our heart shifting;
Tainted in the after glow, words
need not spoken. The vulture
had come to pick his meal
squawking like a monster ripping
away the flesh that sits
maggoted and forgotten.
One after another they all seem
to find the victim.
It is the youth that our vulture prays
upon, defenseless and with out cause.
Justification; need none. For it was
The inner beast that glorified
the sacrifice killings. Humble
and wise I look up to him.
Up the ladder:
The Path
Down the ladder:
Ebony shadow
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Posted: January 16, 2005 1:19 PM PST; Last modified: January 16, 2005 1:19 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.029801 Overall Rank: 7311 Comments:
[8]
Dovina @ 12.72.5.101
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16-Jan-05/8:41 PM
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Reply
Grammar!
how bout a couple line breaks there?
An observation: in places you omit a word, apparently because it isn't needed - and I agree with that philosophy, but in others you pack in little extra ones as if you get paid by the letter (the first three words for starters, the on nearly every line, the first two or three. Clean that crap out and it won't be so pants.
good poem, some of the lines seem to start in the wrong place though. over all, I liked it.
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