Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Going Camping (Free verse) by jessicazee
A quick death, a campfired moth. Ash so light, wings disappear, flying, dying again toward the canopy. You can only see above your wooden flame one half hour of meteor shower. A few sites down at the outhouse the shower drips all night, mulberry trees whisper, "please shake us" "we need to let things go"

Up the ladder: Sea Foam
Down the ladder: -untitled-

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.9525743
Overall Rank: 8809
Posted: December 8, 2004 10:58 PM PST; Last modified: December 8, 2004 10:58 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 10-Dec-04/5:21 PM | Reply
The first three verses great. And the mulberry tree lines are good - seem to complete the moth lines. But in between, well, why?
[n/a] EAger to Offend @ 65.95.241.26 | 12-Dec-04/3:21 AM | Reply
This is a good sketch for the poem that evolved from it.
246 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2021 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001