Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Love Bruises (Free verse) by Jezabele-In-Hell
The last time we made love You left bruises on my legs For the first time in my life I hate to see them fade For every day that passes by They slowly go away I wish they could stay forever So I would never forget How incredible you felt against me The last time we made love They are a reminder Of how intense love is How incredible sex can be I fear the day when I wake up And my bruises are completely gone I wish my love could fade so easy Then my heart could go on

Up the ladder: Cool car!!
Down the ladder: Tribute To Edgar Allen Poe

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.8
Weighted score: 4.9761596
Overall Rank: 8367
Posted: November 25, 2004 7:21 PM PST; Last modified: November 25, 2004 7:21 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] Jezabele-In-Hell @ 68.18.2.49 | 25-Nov-04/7:22 PM | Reply
I don't think it's good..Maybe because I keep reading it over and over...I need some opinions here.
[5] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 25-Nov-04/10:14 PM | Reply
I don't think it's good either. Too plain. And doesn't make sense that you want the bruises to remain. Sorry
[n/a] richa @ 81.178.250.207 > Dovina | 27-Nov-04/2:50 PM | Reply
because they are 'love bruises'.
[5] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 > richa | 27-Nov-04/3:20 PM | Reply
The getting of sexual pleasure from being mistreated, or hurt physically or otherwise by a partner is not something I can understand, but neither is lot of what goes on for pleasure. The way she describes the bruises on her legs sounds like kicking or blows of some kind. “love bruises” – okay, whatever turns her on.
[n/a] Jezabele-In-Hell @ 68.18.34.118 > Dovina | 27-Nov-04/6:28 PM | Reply
No...Just bruise easily. Wasn't mistreated.
[4] cuddlytiger17 @ 209.105.137.209 | 26-Nov-04/8:23 PM | Reply
I guess I can understand why you want the bruises to remain as long as possible; to serve as a reminder, proof. But like Dovina said, it's too plain.
[n/a] Jezabele-In-Hell @ 68.18.34.118 > cuddlytiger17 | 27-Nov-04/6:29 PM | Reply
Thanks. I will work on making it have more depth.
[6] EAger to Offend @ 65.95.241.26 | 12-Dec-04/4:20 AM | Reply
The title and concept are great, actually. The poem is just a very raw explaination. Give us some imagery and try to work in some poetic devices. I think you have over-explained it in this version so please don't waste your time on trying to clarify the idea in later versions. Just make us feel the way you feel.
[6] EAger to Offend @ 65.95.241.26 | 12-Dec-04/4:20 AM | Reply
The title and concept are great, actually. The poem is just a very raw explaination. Give us some imagery and try to work in some poetic devices. I think you have over-explained it in this version so please don't waste your time on trying to clarify the idea in later versions. Just make us feel the way you feel.
[9] sir_heff @ 65.172.117.1 | 13-Dec-04/9:25 AM | Reply
bruises on the heart fade much more slowly than those of the body. sometimes there never really gone and the slightest touch or a harsh thought can bring your bruises to the surface again
207 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001