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interlude (Free verse) by Caducus
Remembering that street and the gown of rain Which varnished her feet Her cracked hands walking over my loneliness in to avenues of my yearning. I know this cobbled street, can lead to doorways but I chose the exit In your eyes which burned like dante's inferno. Underneath this sunrise on gingerbread steets, You look in my eyes And read to me Keats. Rain soaked the pages Leaving a lifetime on her lifeline, And as she stood still, Mascara raced from her pallid sill. Say my name she said and whisper to my shadow you were mine today, What I was born for was suddenly dead As her shawl lifted Like her feint shadow She walked away.

Up the ladder: Fastso
Down the ladder: the coming of Fall

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.6
Weighted score: 6.3
Overall Rank: 878
Posted: August 14, 2004 1:23 PM PDT; Last modified: August 14, 2004 1:23 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] MacFrantic @ 198.81.26.16 | 15-Aug-04/1:15 AM | Reply
Too choppy and distracting, possibly too long.
Now, the positives........... uhh, *7*
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